Triptych

Ruby on the way to school:

"Can we have barbecued rice for dinner?"

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As we walked back to the car in the parking lot, Ruby sang very loudly:

"Fourteen, sixteen, FOURTEEEEN, SIXTEEEEEEN, FOURTEEEEEEN!"

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After lunch I gave Ruby 2 Oreos.

R: "Do you only love me 2 times?"
Me: "I love you times infinity!"
R: "Well then give me infinity Oreos!"

Lofty long-term goal

Ruby: "When I gwoh up, I will sweep in bed with mommy and daddy!"

Spoil sport

Kiefer got a black, long-sleeved shirt with a glow-in-the-dark skeleton print on the front. Last week we had some cooler weather and he was insanely excited to wear it for the first time.  He was determined to "freak out" some people. He wore it to the supermarket where the produce manager saw Kiefer holding some lemons and said, "You better eat some more fruit! I can see your bones!"

Kiefer covered his mouth and giggled joyously.  He had tricked a grown man.

Ruby was incredulous. As the man walked away laughing, Ruby yelled, "Hey! It is just a PICTURE of bones!"

Storytime concussion

Last night we were settling down to read a bedtime story. I accidentally whacked Kiefer in the forehead with the back of my arm when we crawled on the bed. After the initial shock I asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. You got me *right* in the brain."

She drives a hard bargain

Me: "Ruby, you are getting so tall. Can you please not grow up and stay my little girl forever?"

Ruby: (In faux super-sweet voice) "I am sorry, but I have to grow up right now. I will try not to grow up."

*pause*

"But if you take me to Halloween on Friday I will not grow up. Okay? So take me to Halloween. But FIRST! We need to get pumpkins! And pumpkin baskets to keep FOREVER!"