Personal Assistant

Kiefer held up the checkbook this morning and said, "Mommy, is this our checkbook?"

Me: "Yep."

Kiefer: "You need to keep better track of this."

Nutcracker

Ruby: "Mommy, what does 'ballerina' mean? Oh, maybe it means 'bad guy' in Spanish."

The opposite of cute

I tackled Ruby to put her shoes on and when the chore was complete, I gave her a giant kiss on the face. This apparently was not okay. She screamed, "No! Don't kiss me!"

I said, "But I love my kids and you're so cute!"

Her response: "Kiefer's not cute; he's AWESOME!"

Kid, you need some more of that...

While emptying the dishwasher tonight I hear the unmistakable sound of Ruby taking a pretty spectacular spill. I pause and wait for the scream, and when there is none I ask, "Are you okay?" After a deep breath she says, "Yeah! That didn't hurt! That was MAGIC!"

What?

Kiefer: "Mommy, zombies are *really* good listeners."

Perfect Angel

While riding in the car at the end of a long day, Kiefer robustly exclaimed, "Daddy! You didn't even have to spank me today!"

(No, we don't spank our children often. That's why it was so funny. To us.)

Here we go.

So I'm going to start this blog thing. You can see that I did start it once, a long time ago, but my attention span is not long enough for *real* posts. Thanks to suggestions from numerous people, I'm going to dedicate this blog to the sweet/provocative/hilarious/disturbing quotes from our kids.