Lofty long-term goal

Ruby: "When I gwoh up, I will sweep in bed with mommy and daddy!"

Spoil sport

Kiefer got a black, long-sleeved shirt with a glow-in-the-dark skeleton print on the front. Last week we had some cooler weather and he was insanely excited to wear it for the first time.  He was determined to "freak out" some people. He wore it to the supermarket where the produce manager saw Kiefer holding some lemons and said, "You better eat some more fruit! I can see your bones!"

Kiefer covered his mouth and giggled joyously.  He had tricked a grown man.

Ruby was incredulous. As the man walked away laughing, Ruby yelled, "Hey! It is just a PICTURE of bones!"

Storytime concussion

Last night we were settling down to read a bedtime story. I accidentally whacked Kiefer in the forehead with the back of my arm when we crawled on the bed. After the initial shock I asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. You got me *right* in the brain."

She drives a hard bargain

Me: "Ruby, you are getting so tall. Can you please not grow up and stay my little girl forever?"

Ruby: (In faux super-sweet voice) "I am sorry, but I have to grow up right now. I will try not to grow up."

*pause*

"But if you take me to Halloween on Friday I will not grow up. Okay? So take me to Halloween. But FIRST! We need to get pumpkins! And pumpkin baskets to keep FOREVER!"

Singin' in the shower

We were listening to a song in the car called, "Singing in the Shower" when Ruby said, "I do not like to sing in the shower. I only sing at baby showers."

A smell of one's own

It is bedtime protocol to feed the goldfish. Kiefer opened the container of fish food and inhaled deeply, eyes closed, like it was a scent to savor. I could not ignore the oddity.

"Eeew, Kiefer, that fish food smells so gross."

"Noooooo...it smells like my eyes."

"It smells like your eyes?"

"Yeah. I can really smell my eyes."

Spirit of the law

We were going the usual back-and-forth over who would say the bedtime prayer. The kids generally fight over who gets to say it and it's lovely. Tonight Ruby declared, "I will say the prayer and I will NOT be reverent. I will say LOUD THINGS!!!"

I said, "Uhhhh, that's not how we should say prayers; maybe someone else should say it tonight."

"Okay, mommy. You can say it."